Passionate Outlier

blog 3.

So, I haven’t had a job since July. Yep, I haven’t worked since freaking July. To go further into this, we moved to Texas in February. I took a job right when we moved that I thought I would love. Turns out, I didn’t completely agree with how the business was ran and if I don’t fully believe something is right or okay or ethical, I’m not going to do it. So I quit. Now when I quit, I figured I would take a little time off to decide what I wanted to do next with my life. I didn’t think “a little” time would be 5 months. And I also didn’t think I would be as lost as I am with what the hell I wanted to do next in my life.

There have been many days and nights that I’ve freaked out, threw a temper tantrum like a three year old, cried like a newborn baby, and pouted like the brat that I am because I have no idea what I want to do with my life. It’s scary. It really is. To know that you spent four and a half years of college and you’re paying back $360 dollars a month on student loans for something that you really aren’t as passionate about as you thought. It’s bull I can’t get my money back either and trade my degree back in, but that’s a different story.

I’ve applied to quite a few places. Places I really have no interest in, but figured I should be working like normal people do and help bring in money. I would be lying if I said I have 100 percent worked my ass off to find a job. I haven’t. I’ve looked at places, applied to many places, interviewed at a couple places, and still haven’t found the right one though. Thankfully I am extremely blessed that my husband makes enough money that I am not forced to work and find something right away. I swear to you he is the most patient individual ever. Although he is probably sick of me being a free-loader, I definitely don’t take that I even have that option for granted.

What I will say I’ve learned over these past few months is that you don’t have to have everything in life figured out right now. No matter what age you are, you may be a little confused on where your path is taking you and that’s okay. It took me a while to get to this point and to realize this. A friend of mine told me something that really stuck with me. He said, “DO NOT SETTLE. Too many people settle. Don’t be the complacent statistic. Be the enthusiastic outlier.” It was a damn good sentence so I’m not sure if he quoted that from someone or he is just that good, but it made me realize that because I am lucky enough to have some time to figure out my passions, I need to use it instead of complaining that I’m not working at a job that I more than likely don’t even care about. Not everyone is able to just stop working for 5 months. I get that. It’s not the norm. But even if you are working and feel like it’s a complacent job, know that things can be changed and nothing is permanent. If you are passionate about something, go for it! And don’t let anyone or anything get in your way.

Never forget that you are wonderful inside and out.

I’m still figuring out my passions. I have a much better idea of what I’m truly passionate about then I did 5 months ago. Now I just need to figure out where to go with that. It will take time and I’ve finally realized that that’s okay. I’m still lost on where exactly I want my path to take me, but I’ve also realized that it will eventually get me to where I need to be.

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Beautiful Souls

Today I went and got my eyebrows threaded. Shit hurts. So bad. For those of you who may not know what that is; someone literally takes some floss looking device and plucks my eyebrows with it. Ridiculous. As I lay there in pain while this Indian lady ridiculed my eyebrows and basically told me how unflattering they are, I purposely tried to think of something else so I could take my mind off the pain and the fact I was sweating bullets and about to pass out. I thought… “Why the hell am I doing this? Why am I not just happy and satisfied with the way my eyebrows are already? Why do they have to be a certain ‘shape’ or have an ‘arch’? And, NO woman, I do not want my damn upper lip done next!!” This led me to think deeper about all the other painful and or expensive things some women do (including myself) in order to feel beautiful or better about themselves or to look a certain way. Now as a disclaimer, the things I am mentioning, I do myself, and I’m sure I will continue to do most of them even after I publish this post. I don’t expect anyone not to do things that make them feel beautiful or feel better about themselves. Because a lot of these things do make you feel better about yourself. I’m simply reflecting on this and wish that women (once again including myself) didn’t feel like we had to do these things to feel a certain way or impress certain people or to simply feel more confident. I honestly don’t think most men go through one fourth of the things women go through to feel or look a certain way. Are we doing these things like threading our eyebrows or getting Brazilian waxes because we feel we should since other women do? I know we’re not doing it because we like the pain or like spending a crap ton of money. Are we doing these things because we are jealous of a certain way other women look and we want to be like that as well? I can personally admit that one of my biggest flaws is comparing myself to others. It is something I have done for a long time and something that I am slowly working on getting better at. I have no problem admitting that. It is something I am continuing to work on and something that I will end doing at some point. Because no matter how hard you compare, everyone is different and that is how it always will be. It’s a waste of your time and energy to compare.

Why as women can’t we all just be happy for one another and realize that everyone is beautiful no matter what. Instead of being “jealous” of someone, be happy for them. Even if society (which by the way can be extremely fu*%$# up) tells us that a certain “look” is beautiful, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is. EVERYONE is beautiful because beauty isn’t just defined by appearance or physical traits. I know it’s easier to read than actually feel this way, but it is possible. It just takes time.

So yes, even though getting your nails done, getting your hair colored or highlighted, getting your eyebrows waxed, losing weight, getting your teeth whitened, buying new make-up, or even getting a painful fricken Brazilian wax may make you feel better about yourself or more “beautiful”, never forget that those are all things people see on the outside. And beauty is so much more than that. There is nothing wrong with getting a manicure and pedicure. Trust me, I’ll never stop doing that. Just don’t let those things define you and define your beauty. Below I’ve listed some of the things that I sincerely think make someone a beautiful person. If you’re not already doing these things; try them. You don’t need to do them all at once.  If you’re already doing these things you are an amazingly beautiful person in my book. I will continue to work on these things as well. Feel free to add your own. Share them with me too! I’m always up for suggestions.

– Compliment people. Even people that you don’t know

-Do something nice for a stranger. Even if it’s holding a door open or letting them get in front of you in the grocery line.

-Volunteer somewhere. Someone that volunteers their time and energy knowing they aren’t getting paid is truly beautiful.

-Apologize when you’re wrong. When someone can admit that they messed up and were in the wrong, they are so much more beautiful than someone who never admits fault.

-Forgive.  When someone can forgive another’s mistakes, they truly are beautiful.

-Listen. People who listen to others without making everything about them are wonderful.

-Don’t be so quick to judge. As my mother always says “You never know what type of day they just had or are having.”

-Believe in yourself. People who have confidence give other people confidence. They are our leaders.

-Be honest. Honest people are some of the best people. They are the most trustworthy friends.

-Be humble. Humble people are inspiring.

Never forget that you are wonderful inside and out.

Traveling Husbands

I actually showered today. Which is awesome considering PJ isn’t home therefore I have no one except my dog to impress and he licks himself in disgusting areas, so clearly he could give a shit less. I’m sure there are many of you that have husbands or boyfriends that travel for work. Mine travels quite a bit. A little too much for my liking, but I’m getting better with it (A.K.A I’m whining less). There are also many of you that maybe don’t mind when your husbands travel for work and aren’t needy little babies like myself. Good for you! I’m jealous of your independence. I used to think I was some independent woman until I married PJ. Psssshh. Far from it. It’s also hard for me because I’m thousands of miles away from my family. Plus, I’m also not working at this time so I have a little bit too much free time. Luckily I’ve come up with quite a few ideas of things to do to keep myself busy and I wanted to share some of them with you! Some of these are things you can do even if you aren’t home alone. Try em out. Let me know what ya think. And remember; never be too hard on yourself. You’re wonderful inside and out.

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1. This is my biggest one. And one that I don’t do enough myself: Take time to catch up with friends and family. If you’re lucky enough to live close to your family, go visit them! Stop by just to say hi. Go out to lunch with a friend. Call a relative or a friend that may not live close just to say hi and tell them you’re thinking of them. It will mean a lot to them, and make you smile as well.

2. Do a home spa. Nothing is more relaxing than a hot bubble bath. Play a little music, and soak in the tub! After that, put on one of those spa robes. They make you feel good I swear. Or run around ass naked. You’re home alone anyway. Just make sure your blinds are shut. Paint your nails and toes. A set of fresh digits is sure to make anyone feel better. Here are a few of my favorite “Spa Items”

SheaMoisture literally has the best stuff for your "Spa Day" This body scrub leaves you feeling as soft as a baby's booty

SheaMoisture literally has the best stuff for your “Spa Day” This body scrub leaves you feeling as soft as a baby’s booty.  http://www.sheamoisture.com/

Drop some of this stuff into your running bath water. So relaxing!

Drop some of this stuff into your running bath water. So relaxing! http://www.sheamoisture.com/

Who doesn't love Essie?

Who doesn’t love Essie? http://www.essie.com/#

3. Talk to yourself. Nothing is more exciting to me than not being judged because I can talk out loud to my dog like he is actually listening.

4. Probably one of my favorites is watching chick flicks (or whatever genre of movie you’re interested in) getting comfortable on the couch, and eating popcorn. Literally the best thing ever to me.

5. Do something crafty. Even if you don’t think you’re a crafty person, trust me, you are. Go on Pinterest and you can literally find anything. I’ve made so many random crafts and it’s actually something that’s super enjoyable to me. I’m not saying you should go knit a blanket or anything, but you can find something so simple on Pinterest. Pin your little hearts out. I’ve included a couple of my personal favorites:

candles

Make these super easy candle holders and use them during your “Spa Day” http://www.pinterest.com/pin/24980972907011724/

leash and treat holder

If you’re dog obsessed like me, this is something perfect for your fur baby. http://www.pinterest.com/pin/24980972907379479/

6. Clean! You’re probably like “Really Jessica?!” But I honestly get some of the best cleaning done when I’m home alone. No distractions. I blast music and scrub tiles. It’s very productive. Plus, I feel so much better being home alone in a clean house versus a messy one.

There are so many things you can do to avoid the boredom that can come with being alone. These are just a few. Sometimes it’s just nice to have some alone time, so don’t turn it into a negative thing. I’ll work on that myself too.

Now go scrub some tile, or run around naked.