So, I haven’t had a job since July. Yep, I haven’t worked since freaking July. To go further into this, we moved to Texas in February. I took a job right when we moved that I thought I would love. Turns out, I didn’t completely agree with how the business was ran and if I don’t fully believe something is right or okay or ethical, I’m not going to do it. So I quit. Now when I quit, I figured I would take a little time off to decide what I wanted to do next with my life. I didn’t think “a little” time would be 5 months. And I also didn’t think I would be as lost as I am with what the hell I wanted to do next in my life.
There have been many days and nights that I’ve freaked out, threw a temper tantrum like a three year old, cried like a newborn baby, and pouted like the brat that I am because I have no idea what I want to do with my life. It’s scary. It really is. To know that you spent four and a half years of college and you’re paying back $360 dollars a month on student loans for something that you really aren’t as passionate about as you thought. It’s bull I can’t get my money back either and trade my degree back in, but that’s a different story.
I’ve applied to quite a few places. Places I really have no interest in, but figured I should be working like normal people do and help bring in money. I would be lying if I said I have 100 percent worked my ass off to find a job. I haven’t. I’ve looked at places, applied to many places, interviewed at a couple places, and still haven’t found the right one though. Thankfully I am extremely blessed that my husband makes enough money that I am not forced to work and find something right away. I swear to you he is the most patient individual ever. Although he is probably sick of me being a free-loader, I definitely don’t take that I even have that option for granted.
What I will say I’ve learned over these past few months is that you don’t have to have everything in life figured out right now. No matter what age you are, you may be a little confused on where your path is taking you and that’s okay. It took me a while to get to this point and to realize this. A friend of mine told me something that really stuck with me. He said, “DO NOT SETTLE. Too many people settle. Don’t be the complacent statistic. Be the enthusiastic outlier.” It was a damn good sentence so I’m not sure if he quoted that from someone or he is just that good, but it made me realize that because I am lucky enough to have some time to figure out my passions, I need to use it instead of complaining that I’m not working at a job that I more than likely don’t even care about. Not everyone is able to just stop working for 5 months. I get that. It’s not the norm. But even if you are working and feel like it’s a complacent job, know that things can be changed and nothing is permanent. If you are passionate about something, go for it! And don’t let anyone or anything get in your way.
Never forget that you are wonderful inside and out.
I’m still figuring out my passions. I have a much better idea of what I’m truly passionate about then I did 5 months ago. Now I just need to figure out where to go with that. It will take time and I’ve finally realized that that’s okay. I’m still lost on where exactly I want my path to take me, but I’ve also realized that it will eventually get me to where I need to be.